Micky Adams And The Xmas Blues...

Micky Adams has now officially been offered the job at Sheff Utd, and what was a perfectly acceptable Xmas for me is now rendered utterly ruined. Not even a new pair of limited edition Adidas Samba's can lift this gloomy mood.

Anyway, this cheered me up a little...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHEGDCXM5d4

I Got Drunk In Northampton

A few pints in The Sixfields Tavern before the game, a couple in there after the game, and a couple in The Rover before going home. A pitiful Hot Dog at half-time. Northampton played the whole of the second half with just ten men, Marc Richards had a great chance, and we hit the bar (or the post) near the end. Other than that this was a piss poor game.

I'm glad I got bevvied up. I was paralytic when the game kicked off so didn't experience the dull tedium in quite the same way as those around me did. Someone had a pop at me as well on the bridge next to the train station. Some nob from Northampton who didn't like me staring at his girlfriend. What is wrong with people?

Oatcakes, Lobby & Vale: The Holy Trinity

Oatcakes with cheese, Lobby with crusty bread and a 2-0 win over a devious and dismal Accrington Stanley to take us to our rightful place at the top of the league. Does life actually get better than this?

How utterly astounding was Marc Richards' goal? I was sat in The Bycars and was convinced it was going to blaze wildly above my head! Astonishing goal! And the second was quality as well, Jemal Johnson showing us some skill and pace before playing the perfect ball into the path of Louis Dodds for a calm and composed finish.

Justin Richards should have helped himself to a couple before half-time, but went a bit 'Akpo' with his finishing. No matter, two goals against a side that had conceded just one in their previous seven games is proof of our new found cutting edge.

Just a word about Accrington Stanley. The first half hour they were horrible to watch, and it's little wonder that hardly any fans bothered to travel down from Lancashire if this is what they're having to put up with. Up until the point we took the lead Stanley were incredibly negative, time wasting at every given opportunity, conning free-kicks from a desperately poor referee, little ambition in going forward.

And yet, in the second half when they did come out to try and give us a game they were actually a half decent side, kept possession well and played the ball around nicely. They might actually win a few games if they adopt the attitude they had in the second half straight from the first whistle.

Anyway, the Oatcakes came courtsey of 'Hamil Road Oatcakes' - £1.56 for two with cheese, the Lobby courtesy of 'The Lunchbox' on Hamil Road - previously the Strawberry Cafe - £2.20 for a bowl with crusty bread.

Tuesday night and Shrewsbury Town could be a little bit special...

Giving Up The Ciggies

A packet of Lambert & Butler, yesterday.

You do these things with all the best intentions in mind. Not only am I giving up smoking but I am also giving up caffeine, all this because I'll turn 40 in six days time and felt the need to make some kind of gesture towards preserving my health. I'm 22 hours into this self-abusive punishment.

It's amazing. What would I give right now for a cigarette and a cup of coffee. Sitting here with a mug of 'green tea' trying to keep busy, to keep my mind away from thoughts of cigarettes and lovely coffee. Is it all worth it? Is it worth putting myself through this right now when I know very well that I am going to ultimately 'give up' with my efforts. I mean, Jesus, I'm going to be 40 on Friday, am I really going to deny myself a ciggie on me birthday? Or a cup of coffee even? No, of course I'm not.

Great win for Vale yesterday at Macclesfield. Second in the table now, joint leaders really - same points as Shrewsbury, it's just 'goals scored' that divides us. Accrington Stanley are coming next Saturday, and although they seem to be doing alright we have to beat them. Accy Stan are precisely the kind of team we need to be hammering at Vale Park.

Then next up it's Shrewsbury Town at Vale Park - Tuesday 28th September - should be an amazing game! And I won't be there... Can't really make midweek games 'cos of work and travel.

Sterilised Milk & Three Points At Home

Sterilised milk. Don't often see it outside of the Stoke-On-Trent area these days do you? Actually I'm struggling to think of anywhere I've seen Sterilised milk outside of S-O-T, and I've seen pretty much all of our green and pleasant land. It's very much a nostalgia thing for me, reminds me of been at me Nan's house when I was a kid, and the countless holidays at me Nan's Caravan near Rhyl. A big fan of sterilised milk was me Nan.

Anyway, yesterdays game. Vale 1 Aldershot 0. Four wins from the first six games, and we have a home win to celebrate. Big shout out has to go out to Gary Roberts for his awesome display in midfield, and his fantastic winner - although The Football League Show tried to spoil it somewhat by pointing out that it took a deflection on it's way past the keeper, something that wasn't apparent to me sat in The Bycar's. Great news that Roberts has had an extension to his contract, he is a real joy to watch - when did we last have a midfielder at Vale Park who could do what Roberts can, namely; control the ball, look up, pick a pass. Doesn't sound like to much does it? The basic tools of the central midfielder, but in this league players of this calibre are few and far between.

And consider this: Robin Hulbert, Paul Harsley, Craig Rocastle, David Howland, Scott Brown, Neil Mackenzie. This is what we've had to suffer over recent years. I might mention Tommy Fraser, but perhaps that would be a little unkind - I could even annoy people and mention Anthony Griffith, yes - I love his 'action man' style and love to see a bit of old skool 'getting stuck in', but he struggles with the ball at his feet, when have we seen a defence splitting pass during Griff's time at Vale Park? Roberts is a gem.

It's creamier than pasturised milk, and still comes in a bottle with a proper bottle top. I really like it in coffee.

Pot Noodle Doner Kebab

Pot Noodle Doner Kebab! What the fuck is going on? Of course I had to try it, had to satisfy my curiosity, and believe me it truly is rock fucking bottom! Not surprisingly it bears absolutley no resemblance (in appearance or taste) to the Mighty Doner Kebab.

Ashonishingly bad.

All the fun of the fair?

I suppose there are some similiarities between going to the football and going to the fair; the smell of economy burgers cooking in rivers of grease, gangs of feral youths roaming around looking to give someone a good kicking. Lots of fun for everyone.

Still, a good place for taking photographs, even though half the people there are suspicious that you may be taking photo's of their kids, the other half look like they're working out how much they might get at Cash Converters for your camera.

Pudding, Chips & Gravy

Comfort eating. Easing a troubled mind through the heavy consumption of high caloried, artery blocking, delicious food. Seeking solace through fat. It may be frowned upon, but it works wonders.

Pudding, Chips & Gravy is one of my personal faves, mushy peas optional. Traditional and cheap. And this is what I immediately turned to after yesterdays frustrating defeat at home to Torquay. Was it a bad day at the office? Were we unlucky? Or were we simply beaten by a better team?

There's an element of truth in all three proposals. We can point at the performances of certain individuals - Stuart Tomlinson was clearly suffering from the 'Fulham Experience', and looked a shadow of the 'keeper who had produced heroics at QPR, John McCombe and Gareth Owen always look susceptible when up against pace, and Torquay had it in abundance. The ever reliable Lee Collins struggled at right-back, Griff - despite his 20-yard screamer - once again proved himself a very limited midfielder, and Louis Dodds delivered another shocker.

Subs Rob Taylor and Sam Morsy joined the battle late in proceedings and offered next to nothing. On the subject of substitutions we need to examine the circumstances behind Torquays second, and decisive goal. Gareth Owen had to go off after suffering a cut to his face, possibly the result of an elbow, with the ball out of play for a Torquay throw-in. As Owen was leaving the pitch substitute Adam Yates was still getting himself sorted, and consequently Torquay took the throw before he came on. The thow resulted in a goal with us down to ten men. Micky Adams was rightly irritated by this when interviewed by Radio Stoke, why was Yates messing about putting his top on when he was needed immediately?

We could have had a couple of penalties in the first half, Justin Richards getting thrown to the floor twice in off-the-ball incidents with a cross ready to be delivered. Astonishingly the Ref was having none of it.

Ultimately though, Torquay played better football than us. Some bizarre criticism of Torquay appeared on the OneValeFan forum last night - citing that our visitors were 'one dimensional' and simply 'hoofed' the ball up the field for their pacy strikers to chase. Really? Ok, whenever the ball landed in the vicinity of the Homer Simpson-esque Guy Branston it was, by the laws of nature, hoofed back with interest from where it came. Branston has been doing this for several years now, and yesterday did it effectively. But that aside Torquay showed they could play with the ball on the ground, and could do it at speed. In truth they could perhaps have scored more, our defenders looking like rabbits caught in the headlights on several occasions.

We should have found an equaliser close to the end. A free-kick was parried out to Lee Collins, who had the option of lifting the ball over the grounded keeper or playing the ball into the path of better placed colleagues for a simple tap-in. He did neither - opting to blast the ball as hard as he could straight at the keeper. It summed up his day.

Fortress Vale Park breached once again. The fast food merchants of Stoke-On-Trent may well be seeing too much of me again this season.

Vale Park Is Not A Fortress

Just what happens to us at Vale Park? This week has seen two massive performances away from home at Bury and QPR. Expectations were sky high today for the visit of Chesterfield, and after a solid first half we completely lost our way in the second, allowing Chesterfield to earn themselves a draw.

Let's face it, the only thing thats remotely intimidating for visitors is the Hamil Road after the match. For the opposing players Vale Park is a lovely, welcoming enviroment. A big, open pitch with a home following quick to get on the backs of their own players.

It's a far cry from the passionate, proud 'away' following that Vale enjoy. The players clearly enjoy that following, raising their game, fighting for everything.

Today, against Chesterfield, our performance simply peted out, it lost it's way completely. The atmosphere just wasn't there. The placid home following jsut cannot inspire the players, this is why we cannot call Vale Park a fortress. It is not a stadium that strikes fear into the hearts of the opposition, and that is bitterly disappointing.

Give me the 'away' experience everytime.


The Bycars toilets. Staggeringly disgusting.

White City/Black Heat

There was no fluke in White City on Tuesday 10th August. No unbelievable piece of good fortune. Vale won this game fair and square.

What can you say about our crushing defeat of QPR in The Carling Cup? We were all magnificent, the Players, the Fans. It's astounding to think that little over twelve months ago we were finishing 17th with Dean Glover in charge. The progress made under Micky Adams is startling - particularly when you consider just how many of the first team squad actually pre-date Adams.

We are amazing.





QPR fans in cheery mood.

Lee Collins Is Our Hero

The season began yesterday with a belligerent battle at Gigg Lane, and we came away the deserved victors - the amazing Lee Collins delivering the telling strike midway through the second half.

The celebrations from us humble Fans was, of course, wild and jubilant. Like at Shrewsbury for the past two seasons, and at Crewe last season. There is a real buzz developing around the Club again, it's years since I've felt this optimistic and this deliriously happy with Vale. The fact that almost 2000 Vale Fans made the trip proves that I'm not the only one feeling like this.


Vale players and Fans in perfect harmony

One of the joys of visiting Bury is, of course, the opportunity of travelling on a tram. It just has to be done. Going to the game in a car or Supporters coach is wrong, just total and utter wrongness. No, you have to travel by train, take the time to see a bit of the City or Town you are visiting. Get a bit of the local culture. And how many times in your life are you going to take a tram through a place called Besses O' Th' Barn?

The Fans, in the main, were superb - the usual high volume whilst giving the opposition a quick tune, some cheeky banter with the Bury lot, but there is an issue that has to be addressed.

And that issue is the seemingly ever increasing number of slack-jawed, large-foreheaded, pimply tossers that follow Vale. What hopelessly dreary people they are! A constant source of embarrassment for those of us who believe that washing, bathing and grooming is a daily concern rather than a fortnightly obligation.

Yesterday they were in full force. One instance that sticks in the mind came during the first half when, over to the left of us near to the toilets, a policeman was man-handling a Vale fan - I've no idea why, but the knee jerk reaction from around 70-80 of our fans brought a collective sigh of resignation from the rest of us.

Watching these scrawny pathetic specimens running around screaming "V-V-VLF" like drunk tarts does have an amusing aspect to it, and of course it all adds to the rich tapestry that is football, but we can all become tarred with the same brush. Ask a visiting fan at Vale Park about their experience when leaving the ground, and what they thought of Vale Fans they would probably say that we are a bunch of dicks. A bunch of dicks with bad skin.

Is that what we want?



Gigg Lane becomes a rave scene




She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

New Gear For The New Season!

Bury away first game, then away at QPR for The Carling Cup on the Tuesday. I just had to go out this morning and pick up some new Vintage Adidas gear. Definitely going to wear it in London, but do I risk it at Bury and face the possibility of some Manc skanks trying to tax me? Decisions, decisons.

The Countdown Begins!

This is it Brothers and Sisters, Seven days until the Mighty Valiants travel to North Manchester to begin our third - and surely our last - season in the basement division.

And d'you know what? In some respects I'll miss the place. Ok, it's certainly no place for a Club of our stature, with our glorious history, but the last two seasons have seen us travel to some wonderful footballing outposts, a nostalgic visit to terracing, bacteria-ridden pies, falling down stands. It's been marvellous. Sadly though, the end is nigh for these fantasic Cathedrals. No more Saltergate, no more Christie Park, replaced by the identikit Stadiums that have been springing up with frequent regularity since the mid-nineties.

Still, nevermind. We are due a bit of success, and we now have the squad to deliver. Micky Adams has cleared out the deadwood ,and replaced it with some experience and know-how. Gary Roberts is by far the most interesting of the new additions, and has a lot to prove. He knows he's drinking in the last chance saloon - and hopefully he will stick to Orange Juice. The booze-bingeing, bookies-bothering midfield playmaker has plenty of talent, just needs to keep his head straight and learn to deal with the pressure. We have the Management team to keep him in line.

Football. Magic, innit.

More From Market Harborough

Vale attack in front of the cheering masses

A few more photo's from yesterdays 3-0 win at Harborough Town. There could have been lots more, however, 'Blogger' will only allow me to upload five photo's per blog. But nevermind, this I'm sure is ample.


Chris Martin wears a football as a hat


Tommy Fraser fancies some


Sean Rigg looking slightly like Michael Walsh


Kris Taylor giving a left-back masterclass in the Leicestershire countryside

The Sun Shines In Market Harborough

It's been two long months since the 2009/10 season ended, and although we've had the World cup to keep us occupied during the last month this is what it's all about. Yesterday Port Vale began their pre-season with a knock-about against Harborough Town.


The national anthem blares out in a field in Market Harborough


Vale players contemplate the meaning of life


Stuart Tomlinson and the infamous John McCombe


Trialist and lower league scoundrel Gary Roberts

David Mulligan At The World Cup!

How bizarre is this?! David Mulligan is at The World Cup Finals with New Zealand! How has this happened? Does anyone remember this bloke? Played at full-back for us for the last few months of THAT disasterous relegation season 07-08. He resembled nothing more than a jobbing footballer making his way quietly towards the void that is non-league football and here he is, possibly playing against Italy later today! Yet another Port Vale connection in South Africa. Let's see - Robbie Earle, David Mulligan, and, of course, Brighty - Mark Bright, BBC Co-commentator and product of the Rudge years.

Robbie's In Mither...

Vale legend Robbie Earle

What a disaster for Robbie Earle! The former Vale legend has been sacked from his job as ITV football pundit after 40 'complimentary' tickets for friends and family came into the hands of a Dutch beer company. Oops! 'The Guardian' newspaper were a little bit cruel yesterday when they suggested that this was the most interesting thing Earle had ever done as a pundit.

Robbie is one of the greatest footballers ever to grace Vale Park. He was part of the halcyon days of the John Rudge-era, where Vale were lifted to new heights. Sadly for Robbie he was eventually sold to Wimbledon (although it was good for us as we got a packet from the sale), who at the time were peddling the type of grim, artless, route one football that makes Stoke City look like fine purveyors of the beautiful game. Robbie also represented Jamaica in the World Cup Finals.



So, what next for Robbie? His TV punditry days are also certainly over. Could it be a return to Vale Park in some capacity for our hero?

You Reap What You Sow...

What a terrible, terrible mistake. I've only myself to blame for this. Nobody forced me to buy the Schwartz flavourful Mexican Chilli Chicken mix, it was an action born out of my usual Sunday laziness. Lamentable decision making. This mix of dried onion, sea salt, sugar, roasted cocoa bean, dried garlic, roasted cumin, coriander leaves, green bell pepper, coriander seed, dried tomato, dried jalapeno pepper, dried chillies, natural flavouring, vegetable oil and paprika was woefully insipid. Did I expect anything else?

No. I really didn't have any high expectations for this, although I still feel shockingly let down. It was horrendous. Absolutely horrendous. Will I learn a lesson from this travesty? Probably not.


Schwartz Flavourful Mexican Chilli Chicken. Disgusting.

Call That A Fountain?

Good God. Take a good look at this. A brand new fountain unveiled on Saturday in the middle of town. Just consider all the wonderful fountains the world over, the romantic tourist attractions where people flock to throw coins in and make their wishes, and look what we've had foisted upon us.

It's a glorified puddle. An ugly, pointless waste of money. Shameful.

Three Stripes On My Sleeves

I love Adidas. It's a complete and utterly blissful affair. You can shove your E's, coke and ket because Adidas is where it's at.

Not just any old Adidas you understand though. Vintage is the name of the game. The classic designs of the 60s, 70s, 80s. I've got loads of it, almost to the point of obsessive behaviour. I like to think that I fall short of 'trainspotter' status, you know - the people who collect so much of the stuff that they end up opening a shop. No, that's not what I'm about at all, I just love wearing it, and always have done. It started when I was about 10 or 11 and, despite a couple of dodgy 'Goth' years during my mid-teens, it's always been in my wardrobe. Adidas is proper skill.

What you see on this page is exactly what I am wearing today.