David Mulligan At The World Cup!

How bizarre is this?! David Mulligan is at The World Cup Finals with New Zealand! How has this happened? Does anyone remember this bloke? Played at full-back for us for the last few months of THAT disasterous relegation season 07-08. He resembled nothing more than a jobbing footballer making his way quietly towards the void that is non-league football and here he is, possibly playing against Italy later today! Yet another Port Vale connection in South Africa. Let's see - Robbie Earle, David Mulligan, and, of course, Brighty - Mark Bright, BBC Co-commentator and product of the Rudge years.

Robbie's In Mither...

Vale legend Robbie Earle

What a disaster for Robbie Earle! The former Vale legend has been sacked from his job as ITV football pundit after 40 'complimentary' tickets for friends and family came into the hands of a Dutch beer company. Oops! 'The Guardian' newspaper were a little bit cruel yesterday when they suggested that this was the most interesting thing Earle had ever done as a pundit.

Robbie is one of the greatest footballers ever to grace Vale Park. He was part of the halcyon days of the John Rudge-era, where Vale were lifted to new heights. Sadly for Robbie he was eventually sold to Wimbledon (although it was good for us as we got a packet from the sale), who at the time were peddling the type of grim, artless, route one football that makes Stoke City look like fine purveyors of the beautiful game. Robbie also represented Jamaica in the World Cup Finals.



So, what next for Robbie? His TV punditry days are also certainly over. Could it be a return to Vale Park in some capacity for our hero?

You Reap What You Sow...

What a terrible, terrible mistake. I've only myself to blame for this. Nobody forced me to buy the Schwartz flavourful Mexican Chilli Chicken mix, it was an action born out of my usual Sunday laziness. Lamentable decision making. This mix of dried onion, sea salt, sugar, roasted cocoa bean, dried garlic, roasted cumin, coriander leaves, green bell pepper, coriander seed, dried tomato, dried jalapeno pepper, dried chillies, natural flavouring, vegetable oil and paprika was woefully insipid. Did I expect anything else?

No. I really didn't have any high expectations for this, although I still feel shockingly let down. It was horrendous. Absolutely horrendous. Will I learn a lesson from this travesty? Probably not.


Schwartz Flavourful Mexican Chilli Chicken. Disgusting.

Call That A Fountain?

Good God. Take a good look at this. A brand new fountain unveiled on Saturday in the middle of town. Just consider all the wonderful fountains the world over, the romantic tourist attractions where people flock to throw coins in and make their wishes, and look what we've had foisted upon us.

It's a glorified puddle. An ugly, pointless waste of money. Shameful.

Three Stripes On My Sleeves

I love Adidas. It's a complete and utterly blissful affair. You can shove your E's, coke and ket because Adidas is where it's at.

Not just any old Adidas you understand though. Vintage is the name of the game. The classic designs of the 60s, 70s, 80s. I've got loads of it, almost to the point of obsessive behaviour. I like to think that I fall short of 'trainspotter' status, you know - the people who collect so much of the stuff that they end up opening a shop. No, that's not what I'm about at all, I just love wearing it, and always have done. It started when I was about 10 or 11 and, despite a couple of dodgy 'Goth' years during my mid-teens, it's always been in my wardrobe. Adidas is proper skill.

What you see on this page is exactly what I am wearing today.

Doner Kebabs... An Unmitigated Evil

A Doner Kebab, yesterday...

Just what is it that drives us to consume this ungodly creation, spawned from the scrapings from the abbatoir floor? Why are we compelled to find the nearest kebab shop and utter the immortal words "Large Doner please mate" after a night on the lash?

The answer, of course, is beer. It's beer that fuels our desire for this demonic piece of work. After all, what sort of social deviant purchases one of these when stone cold sober? You are clearly in a dark place if you fancy a kebab without alcohol streaming heavily through your system.

I have to confess that I myself have been a 'heavy user' of the Doner Kebab in the past, I simply could not leave them alone after a few sherbets. "Yeah, all the salad mate, and loads of chilli sauce". Is there any help out there for people like us? Any helplines, any counselling on offer? No. We are left completely at the mercy of the Kebab pushers.

Of course we can fool ourselves. We can tell ourselves that what we are getting is tomatoes, cucmber, lettuce, onions, and weird cabbagey bits in some nice healthy pitta bread. We are fulfilling our '5-a-day' requirements, with a litle bit of meat thrown in for good measure. It's self delusion of the highest order.

What we are actually subscribing to is dirty, filthy, unpleasant degradation. I'm making my stand. My will power may well be put to the test at about eleven o'clock tonight, but I intend to stand firm...

Ressala Is A Winner

The Chicken Ressala in all its magnificent glory...

It's always the same when you get the old Indian take-away, do you plump for the Madras or the Jalfrezi? Chicken or Lamb? Everything else is easy - Poppadums with the pickles and chutney, a side dish of Bombay Potato, a portion of Pilau rice and Nan bread. The works.

Well, I've discovered an alternative to the old Madras/Jalfrezi debate. Ressala. A Bhuna flavoured dish, spiced and cooked with freshly spiced capsicum, onions, green chillies and tomatoes. It looks and tastes very much like a Jalfrezi - and definitely carries the same heat - but clearly there is a subtle difference, and, perhaps more importantly, it's a new piece of kit for your armoury. Be the envy of your mates, impress the ladies, The Ressala is a winner.

Of course there is always the question of availability - the Ressala is not yet a staple of the Take-away menu, therefore some investigation of your local restaurants is imperative, but believe me it is well worth your time and effort.

And here's some more curry porn...