All the fun of the fair?

I suppose there are some similiarities between going to the football and going to the fair; the smell of economy burgers cooking in rivers of grease, gangs of feral youths roaming around looking to give someone a good kicking. Lots of fun for everyone.

Still, a good place for taking photographs, even though half the people there are suspicious that you may be taking photo's of their kids, the other half look like they're working out how much they might get at Cash Converters for your camera.

Pudding, Chips & Gravy

Comfort eating. Easing a troubled mind through the heavy consumption of high caloried, artery blocking, delicious food. Seeking solace through fat. It may be frowned upon, but it works wonders.

Pudding, Chips & Gravy is one of my personal faves, mushy peas optional. Traditional and cheap. And this is what I immediately turned to after yesterdays frustrating defeat at home to Torquay. Was it a bad day at the office? Were we unlucky? Or were we simply beaten by a better team?

There's an element of truth in all three proposals. We can point at the performances of certain individuals - Stuart Tomlinson was clearly suffering from the 'Fulham Experience', and looked a shadow of the 'keeper who had produced heroics at QPR, John McCombe and Gareth Owen always look susceptible when up against pace, and Torquay had it in abundance. The ever reliable Lee Collins struggled at right-back, Griff - despite his 20-yard screamer - once again proved himself a very limited midfielder, and Louis Dodds delivered another shocker.

Subs Rob Taylor and Sam Morsy joined the battle late in proceedings and offered next to nothing. On the subject of substitutions we need to examine the circumstances behind Torquays second, and decisive goal. Gareth Owen had to go off after suffering a cut to his face, possibly the result of an elbow, with the ball out of play for a Torquay throw-in. As Owen was leaving the pitch substitute Adam Yates was still getting himself sorted, and consequently Torquay took the throw before he came on. The thow resulted in a goal with us down to ten men. Micky Adams was rightly irritated by this when interviewed by Radio Stoke, why was Yates messing about putting his top on when he was needed immediately?

We could have had a couple of penalties in the first half, Justin Richards getting thrown to the floor twice in off-the-ball incidents with a cross ready to be delivered. Astonishingly the Ref was having none of it.

Ultimately though, Torquay played better football than us. Some bizarre criticism of Torquay appeared on the OneValeFan forum last night - citing that our visitors were 'one dimensional' and simply 'hoofed' the ball up the field for their pacy strikers to chase. Really? Ok, whenever the ball landed in the vicinity of the Homer Simpson-esque Guy Branston it was, by the laws of nature, hoofed back with interest from where it came. Branston has been doing this for several years now, and yesterday did it effectively. But that aside Torquay showed they could play with the ball on the ground, and could do it at speed. In truth they could perhaps have scored more, our defenders looking like rabbits caught in the headlights on several occasions.

We should have found an equaliser close to the end. A free-kick was parried out to Lee Collins, who had the option of lifting the ball over the grounded keeper or playing the ball into the path of better placed colleagues for a simple tap-in. He did neither - opting to blast the ball as hard as he could straight at the keeper. It summed up his day.

Fortress Vale Park breached once again. The fast food merchants of Stoke-On-Trent may well be seeing too much of me again this season.

Vale Park Is Not A Fortress

Just what happens to us at Vale Park? This week has seen two massive performances away from home at Bury and QPR. Expectations were sky high today for the visit of Chesterfield, and after a solid first half we completely lost our way in the second, allowing Chesterfield to earn themselves a draw.

Let's face it, the only thing thats remotely intimidating for visitors is the Hamil Road after the match. For the opposing players Vale Park is a lovely, welcoming enviroment. A big, open pitch with a home following quick to get on the backs of their own players.

It's a far cry from the passionate, proud 'away' following that Vale enjoy. The players clearly enjoy that following, raising their game, fighting for everything.

Today, against Chesterfield, our performance simply peted out, it lost it's way completely. The atmosphere just wasn't there. The placid home following jsut cannot inspire the players, this is why we cannot call Vale Park a fortress. It is not a stadium that strikes fear into the hearts of the opposition, and that is bitterly disappointing.

Give me the 'away' experience everytime.


The Bycars toilets. Staggeringly disgusting.

White City/Black Heat

There was no fluke in White City on Tuesday 10th August. No unbelievable piece of good fortune. Vale won this game fair and square.

What can you say about our crushing defeat of QPR in The Carling Cup? We were all magnificent, the Players, the Fans. It's astounding to think that little over twelve months ago we were finishing 17th with Dean Glover in charge. The progress made under Micky Adams is startling - particularly when you consider just how many of the first team squad actually pre-date Adams.

We are amazing.





QPR fans in cheery mood.

Lee Collins Is Our Hero

The season began yesterday with a belligerent battle at Gigg Lane, and we came away the deserved victors - the amazing Lee Collins delivering the telling strike midway through the second half.

The celebrations from us humble Fans was, of course, wild and jubilant. Like at Shrewsbury for the past two seasons, and at Crewe last season. There is a real buzz developing around the Club again, it's years since I've felt this optimistic and this deliriously happy with Vale. The fact that almost 2000 Vale Fans made the trip proves that I'm not the only one feeling like this.


Vale players and Fans in perfect harmony

One of the joys of visiting Bury is, of course, the opportunity of travelling on a tram. It just has to be done. Going to the game in a car or Supporters coach is wrong, just total and utter wrongness. No, you have to travel by train, take the time to see a bit of the City or Town you are visiting. Get a bit of the local culture. And how many times in your life are you going to take a tram through a place called Besses O' Th' Barn?

The Fans, in the main, were superb - the usual high volume whilst giving the opposition a quick tune, some cheeky banter with the Bury lot, but there is an issue that has to be addressed.

And that issue is the seemingly ever increasing number of slack-jawed, large-foreheaded, pimply tossers that follow Vale. What hopelessly dreary people they are! A constant source of embarrassment for those of us who believe that washing, bathing and grooming is a daily concern rather than a fortnightly obligation.

Yesterday they were in full force. One instance that sticks in the mind came during the first half when, over to the left of us near to the toilets, a policeman was man-handling a Vale fan - I've no idea why, but the knee jerk reaction from around 70-80 of our fans brought a collective sigh of resignation from the rest of us.

Watching these scrawny pathetic specimens running around screaming "V-V-VLF" like drunk tarts does have an amusing aspect to it, and of course it all adds to the rich tapestry that is football, but we can all become tarred with the same brush. Ask a visiting fan at Vale Park about their experience when leaving the ground, and what they thought of Vale Fans they would probably say that we are a bunch of dicks. A bunch of dicks with bad skin.

Is that what we want?



Gigg Lane becomes a rave scene




She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

New Gear For The New Season!

Bury away first game, then away at QPR for The Carling Cup on the Tuesday. I just had to go out this morning and pick up some new Vintage Adidas gear. Definitely going to wear it in London, but do I risk it at Bury and face the possibility of some Manc skanks trying to tax me? Decisions, decisons.